All The Free Things

Preface

When all our riches are tallied up, our investments, real estate,
savings, collectibles, we are still poor unless we include all we have for free.
Not long ago I tallied up the following list of treasures long hand as fast as I could write, just to find out what I hold most dear. I had to laugh out loud at some of them because they are silly, like French kissing a sea anemone, but many of the others on the list reveal what matters most. We may be poor as church mice, but we are up there among the wealthiest with what we have for free. If you have some riches to add to this list, send them to johnsunderhill@mac.com


Free Things In a High Priced Life

One another
Air we breathe
Water we drink
Kisses we throw
Hands we hold
Cheeks we pat
Dreams we dream
Dreams Others Dream
Advice
Curses and abuse
Dogs we pet
Puppies and kittens
Children we hold. Or release
Children we conceive.
Things we imagine, or don’t
Leaves we rake up and jump into
Dirt we dig
Rocks we move
Mud we step in barefoot and chew with our toes
Fingernails we chew with our teeth
Rocks and logs we sit on
Noses we pick
Reflections we see, or make
Itches and scratching
Throwing a stick for a dog
Skipping a stone across the water
Lying, fibbing, gossiping, exaggerating
Rage, suspicion, jealousy
Swaggering
Stepping on grass, or deciding not to.
Washing our face in a stream or a sink or a puddle
Inventing a never-before recipe
Picking ticks off a dog
Staring down a cat
Crossing a road
Watching a chicken do it.
Watching a rabbit freeze watching you freeze watching it
Rubbing your nose in thought
Rubbing your nose in total amusement
Rubbing your nose because it’s there
Putting on airs
Taking off airs
Clouds we watch change
Clouds that form into crawling babies and ships and gulls
Touching a horse’s soft nose
Smelling a horse’s breath
Hearing a horse snort or gallop
Listening to our footsteps and following
Being afraid for no reason
Imagining disaster
Nodding off while being told off
Skipping
Drumming your fingers
Drumming her fingers
Watching a lady bug haul butt across the back of your hand
Quoting her your only ladybug poem about flying away because of fire at
home
Looking at the stars, finding one to talk to
Seeing the star you were talking to fall
Riding a bike
Watching airplanes take off and come in
Floating in a pond or bird bath
Standing in surf up to your ankles
Commanding the sea to move away from the shore
Watching it do it
Blowing a dandelion puff
Puffing steam into frigid air
Reaching
Retreating
Running
Nursing a baby.
Nursing someone hurt
Blowing bubbles
Whistling Pomp and Circumstance
Blowing Bach’s Tocatta and Fugue in D Major on a kazoo
Babbling nonsense
Humming Jimmy Crack Corn as you die in bed of terminal boredom
Orating to a field of daisies
Looking at your face
Staring into your eyes
Staring into a growling dog’s eyes
Growling back
Running
Laughing
Smiling
Simpering
Crying
Begging
Receiving
Adding and subtracting on your fingers and toes without amputation
Stillness
Rain and snow
Belching
Breaking wind and blowing out the seat of your pants
Listening
Hearing
Seeing
Feeling
Drinking
Eating buttered corn on the cob
Dancing
Wa-hooing
Snapping your fingers together
Snapping a twig
Carving a stick
Sniffling
Blowing your nose with your fingers successfully
Glancing sideways
Swallowing
Shivering
Shaking
Crawling
Creeping
Chewing tobacco, wheatberries and pine gum at the same time
Issuing your spoken edicts to mice in the field
Demanding
Relenting
Seeing a roach in the kitchen big as a rat
Getting over it
Commiserating
Condemning
Sighing
Watching the river flow
Seeing a fish leap from the river and catch the sun
Watch the sudden night
Watching dusk fall and then get up
Eating a carrot you just pulled up
Picking your teeth
Sucking your teeth.
Ducking to keep from being hit
Sucking your lips
Sucking someone else’s lips
Touching a breast
Holding a breast
Rubbing your cheek against a breast
Licking a breast
Sucking a nipple.
Watching a snowflake melt in your palm
Swatting mosquitoes
Scratching a mosquito bite and plotting revenge
Chasing flies with a swatter
Getting four of them in one swat
Swaggering
Hearing dogs bark late at night far away.
Sneaking your signed name onto a copy of the U.S. Constitution
Reading Thomas Jefferson’s Testament of Freedom to preschoolers
Talking back
Cussing the TV
Reading a good story and never wanting it to end
Reading a bad story supposed to be good for you and wondering how
Watching grass grow
Hearing geese head south and looking way up there for them
Holding hands
Massaging feet
Smelling a skunk at night
Playing with words
Watching traffic
Waving
Giving a caterpillar and its sherpa a finger to climb up and come down off
of
Whistling back at birds and hear them whistle back at you
Making faces in the mirror
Finding one that’s acceptable
Peeing in the woods
Peeing in the river
Peeing on the fire embers way out there in the woods
Biting into an apple just picked off the tree
Eating a gooey honey date you raised from a green BB
Smelling coffee beans getting ground
Smelling a full hamper of worn clothes
Watching a woman paint her nails
Calling your dog, seeing him come
Calling your cat, seeing her go
Designing your first business card, throwing away your last
Reading a map for fun on a long drive
Getting lost
Finding your way
Sucking your thumb
Using your thumb to catch a ride
Collecting sand dollars and opening an account
Hunting
Praying
Playing hopscotch with kids
Tapping time with your foot
Having a shoe fit
Wearing it
Hearing a child sing
Hearing a child cry and feel your heart breaking
Hearing a child laugh and feel your heart singing
Finding a silver dollar in an old sock
Giving it to someone
Taking a worm you lacerated with a fish hook to Urgent Care
Hearing the plop of a drop of water into water
Watching a hawk kite a thermal
Someone you don’t know smiling at you
Snuggling
Feeling your genitals say Hi to you
Feeling them say Hi to someone else
Falling in love
Clambering out of love like Brer Rabbit from the Tar Baby
Hearing from someone 30 years later out of the blue
Not hearing from them
Thinking of them
Cobalt blue
Cerulean
The sound and feel of saying Cerulean
Spider web turquoise
Walking into a crowded room and everyone turns to look
Walking out and everyone applauds
Being invisible
Rocking in a rocker on a porch
Rocking in a chair on a porch
Falling over backward
Getting a kindergarten degree
Skidding on ice on purpose
Hearing someone weeping in a fenced backyard you are walking by
Calling that you love them and hearing a ringing silence
Finding a bird nest with eggs in it
Feeling them touching you
Watching your finger move to a task you did not will
Sending it to the closet to think this sort of behavior over
A hummingbird hovering beak to nose in your face
Going home
Leaving home
Thinking of home
Trying to remember a name
Trying to remember a song
Trying to remember your name
Doing a somersault
Darning a sock
Damning a sock
Pulling on a sock and finding a silver dollar in it
Knitting a football field cover from cottonwood fuzz
Stitching time
Teaching a baby to say la la la la la la in ascending diminished sevenths
Gargling the Star Spangled Banner
Using a Q tip soaked in kerosene to chase earwigs from your brain
Blowing down a bridge with a sneeze
Crawling to Lourdes from Dallas
Kissing a sea anemone
French kissing a sea anemone
Getting French kissed back
Talking baby talk
Talking adult talk
Refusing to talk
Taking a walk
Never returning
Wondering if you’re missed
Making a cats cradle from picture hanging wire and opening a small gallery
in your hands
Planting cabbage and corned beef seeds
Planting kisses
Thanking God for us
Giving thanks for all the free things
Doing 30 push ups on the front lawn and hoping someone walks by
Languishing in the embrace of a dog, child, God or hope
Eating a fresh icicle in a hot tub outdoors at night
Caramelizing a snowball when you can’t find an apple
Living without a phone or TV
Playing a 78 record on the wind-up Victrola in the attic
Finding a chocolate in a really old Valentine candy box and it’s still good
Hearing someone singing who thinks she’s alone
Overhearing a conversation that solves all your problems in life
Watching the sun rise
Feeling the sun rise
Feeling something so keenly words fail and they cry
Sniffing a lilac into the depths of your soul
Praising a crocus in the snow for its courage
Watching a concert through a hole in the wall with a friend
Playing cards
Going to Heaven, and seeing you’re still here
Going to Hell, same thing
Getting really sick and baffling the doctors with your recovery
Forgiving the really unforgivable just because
Any food at all when you’re starving
Having lots of streets if you’re a street person
Playing badminton with a kitten
Discovering there’s no sin, only confusion
Discovering God’s first language is sign
Discovering we are the only translator who can make any sense of it.
Discovering God is a dog, the one next to us on the sofa
Discovering.